|Terms and definitions review|
|In our continuing efforts to communicate the ideas and attributes of people and procedures, we at the center of knowledge and enlightenment have decided to introduce the “Layman’s guide to Bnovelent Despot English” series.
As all are aware (maybe not) when we listen we translate what we hear into what we think the speaker means. The exception being when men speak to women, wherein everything translates into ”no, you are wrong, or my God he is so full of himself.” This translation process in sumo-scientific terminology is called “to assume” coming from the Latin “to make an ass of you and me.” (the sumo is on purpose)
With the corporate goal of all employees having an even playing field for communication (translation: just listen and do as you are told) we will, in each issue, address several terms and their meanings. Today we take examples from some other place (not here of course) and being unbiased we have examples from both Benovelent Despots and minions.
“The team will get right on this problem” (this means: “quick loyal flunky, find someone to blame.)”
or “I will look immediately into this complex issue” (which means “I will delegate since I don’t have a freaking clue what you are talking about,.” And finally, I must work smarter, not harder. (which means, “I will hire someone to do the delegating.
“Good idea Boss.” Which means “ if I agree with him maybe he will shut up.)”
or “it must have been the other shift” which means “it was not the day shift or the night shift, it was the other shift.” And finally, the immortal “it was like that when I got here,” (which means…you guessed it.. it must have been the other shift”). Of course, now that we know what the meaning of what the other person is saying really is, we must now come up with clever new ways to express our theories to confuse each other without them knowing it. Or, we could just say what we mean, (which means “my way is the right way”) Or we could wait for a breakthrough in this high-tech evolution we are apparently surrounded by. Eventually, someone will come up with a way to connect our brain to our tongue.